monday morning survey: what's your relationship potential?

Are you dating someone new? Do you think that he or she could be the one or are you worried that it might not be working out? You can find out your relationship's potential by taking this survey created by psychologists Alvin Pam, Robert Putchik, and Hope Conte.

The Romantic Potential Questionnaire

Get out a piece of paper. Number that piece of paper from 1 to 40. The following statements describe how you feel about a person with whom you have some sort of relationship. Rate each of the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10 using the following scale:

0 = you do not feel that way at all at the present time
5 = you feel that way moderately
10 = you feel that way strongly

1. You take his/her suggestions seriously.
2. You feel privileged to know him/her.
3. You think he/she copes well with his/her own problems.
4. He/she has unusual competence or skills.
5. He/she has better judgment than the average person.
6. He/she is more intelligent than the average person.
7. He/she is more ethical than the average person.
8. You respect him/her.
9. You and he/she get along well as a couple.
10. You like sharing experiences with him/her.
11. He/she does not say or do things that embarrass you.
12. He/she can accept you as you really are.
13. There are times when you seem to know what each wants without words.
14. You are confident he/she will stand by you through difficult times.
15. You feel he/she understands you.
16. You and he/she can work it out when you have a difference of opinion.
17. You like giving gifts to him/her.
18. You go out of your way to do the things he/she will enjoy.
19. You enjoy taking care of him/her.
20. You are willing to make sacrifices for him/her.
21. You get very angry if someone hurts him/her.
22. You suffer when he/she suffers.
23. You are willing to suffer to prevent him/her from suffering.
24. You would be willing to die for him/her.
25. You think he/she is better looking than average.
26. You like to show him/her off.
27. You spontaneously want to express affection toward him/her.
28. He/she is sexually attractive to you.
29. You like being touched by him/her.
30. You enjoy caressing him/her.
31. You want to embrace him/her.
32. You are sexually excited by him/her.
33. It is important to be noticed by him/her.
34. It is important to be praised by him/her.
35. You feel more secure when you are with him/her.
36. You feel good when he/she is sensitive to your moods and feelings.
37. You would be jealous if he/she became involved with someone else.
38. He/she is necessary for your present personal happiness.
39. He/she is necessary for the fulfillment of your needs.
40. You would suffer if you lost him/her.

There are five subscales to the Romantic Potential Questionnaire which include, Respect, Congeniality, Altruism, Physical Attraction, and Attachment. To find your score on each subscale, sum your responses to each item on the relevant subscale. The items belonging to each subscale are as follows:
  • Respect: items 1-8
  • Congeniality: items 9-16
  • Altruism: items 17-24
  • Physical Attraction: items 25-32
  • Attachment: items 33-40
Higher scores indicate higher levels of the characteristic, with total scores ranging from 0-80 on each subscale. For instance, individuals with a score of 62 or above on the Respect subscale, a score of 66 or higher in the Congeniality subscale, a score of 58 or higher in the Altruism subscale, a score of 69 or higher in the Physical Attraction subscale, or a score of 62 or higher in the Attachment subscale are all scores in the 85th percentile. If you have a score in this percentile, it means that you have more respect, congeniality, altruism, physical attraction, or attachment than 85 percent of people have for their partners, and therefore, also have a high romantic potential. On the other hand, if your Respect score is a 38 or below, your Congeniality score is a 42 or below, your Altruism score is a 34 or below, your Physical Attraction score is a 33 or below, and your Attachment score is a 32 or below, your score is in the 15th percentile. This would mean that only 15 percent of people have less respect, congeniality, altruism, physical attraction, or attachment than you have for your partner, and therefore, you also have a low romantic potential with your mate. Here are the scores for all percentiles:

  • Respect = 62 (85th percentile); 56 (70th percentile); 50 (50th percentile); 44 (30th percentile); & 38 (15th percentile)
  • Congeniality = 66 (85th percentile); 60 (70th percentile); 54 (50th percentile); 48 (30th percentile); 42 (15th percentile)
  • Altruism = 58 (85th percentile); 52 (70th percentile); 46 (50th percentile); 40 (30th percentile); 34 (15th percentile)
  • Physical Attraction = 69 (85th percentile); 60 (70th percentile); 51 (50th percentile); 42 (30th percentile); 33 (15th percentile)
  • Attachment = 62 (85th percentile); 55 (70th percentile); 47 (50th percentile); 39 (30th percentile); 32 (15th percentile)
  • Total Score (on all subscales) = 302 (85th percentile); 275 (70th percentile); 248 (50th percentile); 221 (30th percentile); 194 (15th percentile)

Researchers have discussed the impact of various combinations of these subscales. For instance, many individuals who have been in love for an extended period of time experience high levels of all five characteristics. Specifically, these individuals tend to have very high levels of Respect and Congeniality. It is important to note that relationships may not thrive as well on just these two characteristics, but instead, good relationships tend to have high levels of all five subscales, with an emphasis on these two.

On the other hand, individuals with strong feelings of Physical Attraction and Attachment, and perhaps even Altruism (with weak feelings of Respect and Congeniality), feel that they are hopelessly in love. Many of these same people, however, experience intense anger at their partners or may avoid introducing them to family and friends because they are embarrassed by them. In other words, despite an individual's belief that he or she has found his or her one true love, if he or she does not have strong feelings of Respect or Congeniality there can be some issues in the relationship. Researchers have claimed that if you have scores well above the 50th percentile in Physical Attraction and Attachment, but well below the 50th percentile in Respect and Congeniality, you might want to think long and hard before taking the plunge and making a commitment.

  • Janda, L. (1996). Love and sex tests: 24 revealing love, sex, ad relationship tests developed by psychologists. Holbrook, MA: Adams Media Corporation.
  • Pam, A., Plutchik, R., & Conte, H. R. (1975). Love: A psychometric approach. Psychological Reports, 37, 83- 88.

Other resources:

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