- "Affiliative humor involves saying funny things, telling jokes, and engaging in spontaneous witty banter in order to amuse others, to facilitate relationships, and to reduce interpersonal tensions in a way that is affirming of both oneself and others" (Campbell et al., 2008, p. 42).
- Self-enhancing humor refers to using humor to adjust or change an individual's feelings. People use this type of humor to cope with stress. Individuals will make these jokes or comments during hard times and also during everyday life events.
- Individuals use aggressive humor to demean or manipulate others. Aggressive humor includes insulting, criticism, sarcasm, teasing, or other form of derogatory humor. Aggressive humor is used to enhance oneself at the expense of others.
- Self-defeating humor involves doing or saying demeaning things about oneself to amuse others. People who use self-defeating humor often degrade themselves for a laugh and then laugh along with others at their own expense.
- Men used affiliative humor more often than women.
- Men and women both used aggressive humor to the same extent.
- People were more satisfied with their relationships when their partners used more affiliative (as opposed to more aggressive) humor during conflicts.
- People felt a lot closer to their partners after a disagreement when their partners and when they themselves used more affiliative (as opposed to more aggressive) humor during an argument.
- When people's partners used more affiliative humor during the discussion of conflict, their distress was lowered. Oppositely, an individual's own use of affiliative humor had no effect on their own distress.
- When individuals used aggressive humor with their partners during conflict, their distress increased, but when people's partners used aggressive humor during the discussion of conflict, there was minimal impact on their own distress.
- People who had partners who used more affiliative humor during conflict reported that they were more able to resolve their differences, where individuals who used more aggressive humor reported little to no resolution of their conflict.
- Campbell, L., Martin, R. A., & Ward, J. R. (2008). An observational study of humor while resolving conflict in dating couples. Personal Relationships, 15, 41-55.
- Martin, R. A., Puhlik-Doris, P., Larsen, G., Gray, L., & Weir, K. (2003). Individual differences in uses of humor and their relation to psychological well-being: Development of the Humor Styles Questionnaire. Journal of Research in Personality, 37, 48-75.
Here's the description of the book provided by the author:
Tired of feeling like your sex life has become boring? Frustrated that your sex drive isn't what it used to be? Do you really understand what your body needs to be sexually satisfied?
If you are like most women, figuring out exactly how to spice up your sex life can feel intimidating. Patty Brisben is here to help you learn the secrets behind your body's sexuality and revitalize your intimate relationship with your partner. As the founder of Pure Romance™, the nation's leading in-home party company specializing in romance and relationship enhancement products, Patty has been keeping women's sexual secrets for years. And now she wants to help you. She knows that it can be hard to get accurate, honest, compassionate answers to your most private of questions, but she also knows that if you give up on your sexuality, you're turning your back on an essential part of life.
The first step toward living your best sexual life is learning how to truly tune in to your body's sexual health, its needs, and all the factors that may be inhibiting you from feeling pleasure and sensation. Like no sex educator before, Patty finally offers information that will teach you how to overcome your insecurities, understand your libido, and learn the ins and outs of orgasm.
Once you reconnect with your sexual self, then you can let your partner in on the fun. With Patty's step-by-step guidelines, you can transform your intimate relationship, infusing it with novelty, passion, and pleasure. You will find tips that have helped thousands of women find the right lubricant, introduce a bedroom accessory to their relationship, and expand their notions of orgasm, intercourse, and massage. Using Patty's time-tested techniques, you and your partner will reconnect and reignite your relationship -- forever!
Throughout Pure Romance Between the Sheets, Patty answers questions from real women, covering the full range of common sexual concerns, from the connection between birth control and sex drive to how common medications can impact arousal, and why lubricants and other enhancement products can literally resuscitate sexual desire and pleasure.
Pure Romance Between the Sheets will give you the knowledge and confidence to live the fuller, healthier, and more sexually satisfying life that you deserve.
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Take 10-20 minutes out of your day and write a quick poem for the one you love. It can be serious, sappy, romantic, or even funny. It doesn't matter how long it is, just write how you feel. I know this sounds a bit cheesy, but I've written many little love poems for my soulmate over the last 8 years. He loves the poems and I love him. It's nice to look at them now and remember how I felt when I wrote them.
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For many of us, love is like oxygen. We can't live without it. We crave the feeling of love and we want others to feel it as well. I've always said that if I could experience half of the love that my parents did, I would be happy. But, I never thought about what type of love I wanted.
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2. DO NOT evaluate the other person, his or her feelings, or the other people involved in the situation--"You're so much better than him."
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