quick love tip: pick your battles

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received is that whenever you're in a relationship, it's important to pick your battles. Relationships aren't any fun when you're arguing or picking on each other all of the time. Learning to complain instead of criticize can help with this, but complaining all of the time doesn't really help either. For instance, Hus (my husband) is late to everything. And, since I've always been someone who is on time (i.e. 10 minutes early) to everything, this characteristic of his really irked me. Overtime, however, I realized that complaining about his constant lateness was not only hurting our relationship by creating unnecessary conflict, but it wasn't making him more punctual either. This was a battle that I did not want to have for the rest of my life. I can't say that I've completely ignored this pet-peeve of mine, but I definitely don't bring it up very often. It's just not worth it. Think about the many battles that you and your mate have and try to cut a few of them out. Your relationship will thank you.

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Ashley said...

This is such great advice! I've found that if something is really bothering you, to the point that it's affecting the relationship, you should get it out there, no matter how small. But, approaching it from an non-accusing standpoint is always best.

DrK723 said...

I think your point is well taken.

It's also important for couples to know that there are right and wrong ways to fight. Here's the good news: there are skills you can learn on fair fighting and w hen you know them, your partnership is much better. As a relationships expert (www.ChoiceRelationships.com), I offer a free teleseminar, "The 7 Tools to Manage Conflict Communication in Your Relationship." To hear it, go to: http://choicerelationships.com/teleseminar_resources

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