working through jealousy

Jealousy can easily ruin a great relationship. For instance, the jealous individual can become so preoccupied with these feelings of hurt, mistrust, and fear that he or she is unable to fully commit to a relationship. Or, individuals who have jealous partners can become irritated by the lack of trust and constant hounding that they may encounter. Although some feelings of jealousy are normal in a relationship, when those feelings begin to consume one or both partners, relationship dissolution may be right around the corner.

What are some things you can do to alleviate jealousy in your relationship?
  • Offer assurances to your partner. Remember to tell your partner that you're "in it to win it." Expressing your commitment and love can enhance feelings of togetherness and intimacy in your relationship, reassuring your partner that there is no one else in your life.
  • Build trust. If your partner can trust you, there is a lower chance that your partner will be overly jealous.
  • Boost your partner's ego. One reason why your partner may be jealous is because he or she has low self-esteem. Tell your partner how wonderful he or she is.
  • Last, but certainly not least: talk about it. Sit down and actually talk about your partner's feelings of jealousy. Be open and understanding during this conversation. This is not the time to say things like, "that's ridiculous" or "you're crazy for thinking that." Your partner has these feelings for a reason. Find out what that reason is and discuss solutions to this issue, together. Many times, your partner's jealousy can be alleviated by the two of you changing a few simple behaviors.

Remember that relationships are about give and take. Both of you need to change some of your old ways so that you can effectively adapt to this new life as a couple. You and your partner are on the same team. Working through, instead of against, jealousy can help your relationship grow, and maybe even reduce those feelings of jealousy that you or your partner once had.

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