honey, dear, & sugar lips: nicknames can improve your relationship

I love nicknames- cutesy ones, stupid ones, sensible ones, and random ones. I love 'em all.

Although many of my fav nicknames make sense (for example- I call one of my best friends "Mitchem" because it's her last name and we call our dog Mr. Chubbs "Piggie," "Fats," and "Pork Chop" because he's a little on the hefty side), to me, random ones (or ones that people can't quickly figure out the meaning to or that makes no sense at all) are especially fun. For instance, another best friend of mine is named Brandy. But to me, her name is "Branda-Bologna." Does Brandy really like bologna? I have no idea. Is there a funny story involving me, Brandy, and some delicious bologna? Nope. I just like the way it sounds. I said it one day and it stuck.

When it comes to the wonderful relationship I have with Hus, I have plenty of nicknames in my let's-see-how-much-I-can-embarrass-my-husband-on-the-Internet basket. From Boog to Hus to Malarky to others that probably should be left unsaid, I have a lot of pet names for the man I love. In return, he has many for me as well like Sweets, a few other unmentionables & the ever so popular Babe. All in all, we love calling each other these affectionate little monikers. When Hus calls me by one of these names, I smile. They make me feel loved and special.

Researchers have found evidence to support the notion that cutesy nicknames (e.g., puddin-pie & love-dove) and other secret terms or phrases (e.g., you may say "we've got to get the oil changed in our car soon Hubby" when you want to leave a party without anyone else catching on) intensify romantic relationships. You may want to resist these mushy idioms, but using insider language with your smoochy-poo can enhance satisfaction, reduce conflict, and strengthen the bond that the two of you share. As stated by Jamie Turndoff, Ph.D. and New York City relationship therapist, "Using nicknames and made-up language is an easy way to inject positive communication into everyday life." And, being positive with your partner helps to maintain your relationship.

Next time your friends tease you about how you always call your partner sweet-cakes, tell them that you're doing it to enhance your relationship.

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laura said...

When J and I first started calling each other schnukums and pookie, it was BECAUSE it was corny and sickening. Now we call each other than because we got so used to it. how gross is that? hahahaha

Kt said...

My hubby and I have lots of nicknames for eachother - most of which we would never share with anyone else for fear of total embarrassment. But I agree that it brings us closer - it's a language that we don't want to share with anyone else!

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