Take a Time-Out
Gatekeeping is when one parent (usually mom) takes control of the care giving and household chores. She then (either consciously or unconsciously) limits dad’s involvement by preventing him from caring for their child (“It’s okay, I’ll do it”), criticizing how he cares for their child (“That’s not how you change a diaper”), or failing to encourage him. Try not to tell your partner how he should or should not care for his child; bite your tongue. He may not have the same knowledge about newborns as you, but he’s perfectly capable of figuring it out. Make sure that he knows how much you appreciate him and compliment him when he does something well. Studies have found that this will not only enable him to be more involved, but it will also decrease conflict in your relationship.
Mess with the Routine
- Mom and dad can share it all
- Novelty vs. predictability
- Autonomy vs. togetherness
- Pick your battles
- The four horsemen of the apocalypse
- Humorous conflict
- Top 10 end-of-summer date ideas
- Just kiss
- Spice it up
- Light the spark
- Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C. & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couple's shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 273- 284.
- Bazzini, D. G., Stack, E. R., Martincin, P. D., & Davis, C. P. (2007). The effects of reminiscing about laughter on relationship satisfaction. Motivation and Emotion, 31, 25- 34.
- Campbell, L., Martin, R. A., & Ward, J. R. (2008). An observational study of humor while resolving conflict in dating couples. Personal Relationships, 15, 41-55.
- Ziv, A. (1988). Humor's role in married life. Humor, 1, 223- 229.
- Ziv, A., & Gadish, O. (1989). Humor in marital satisfaction. The Journal of Social Psychology, 129, 759- 768.