This is a Student Love Tip by Robyn Fink
Some couples get into arguments and think mean things about one another. For example, you might think “He's an idiot," or "She's so dumb” in your head, but you don’t say those hurtful thoughts out
loud. Sometimes, regrettably, our anger gets the best of us and we say these things out loud. When you insult your partner directly, many problems can occur in your relationship. This act is called contempt. Contempt is defined as the intention to insult and/or psychologically abuse your partner through insults, name calling, rolling of the eyes, and/or hostile humor. Many people roll their eyes from time to time, but when these acts turn into a daily occurrence that dominates your relationship, it is likely that your relationship will end. Contempt is different than playfully rolling your eyes or playfully teasing your mate. Contempt occurs when the abusive criticism becomes a habitual behavior. In order to avoid contempt from occurring in your relationship it is important that you and your partner make a conscious effort to not engage in insults or name calling. It is important that you also acknowledge your partner’s positive attributes rather than their negative ones. Whatever you do, remember to steer clear of contempt!
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