quick love tip: give 'em a break

If it hasn't happened already, having children will put a serious strain on your relationship. You will fight about completely ridiculous things, you will be more stressed out than you thought was possible, you will say things that you don't mean, you will question your decision to have children, and you will be thrown into this competition about who works harder (some of you will be involved in a harmless teasing match and others will participate in a full-blown war about this last topic). While I could write for months (maybe even years) about my own experiences with these gems of parenthood, I won't. Instead, I'll just talk about one of the strategies that Hus and I use to keep our sanity.

We try to be in tune with one another and give each other breaks when needed. You see, our twins go to childcare three days a week, are watched by myself two days a week, are watched by Hus one day a week, and are with both of us one day a week. On the days where one of us has the twins all to ourselves, the parent who went to work for the day will deal with the sometimes horrific bedtime routine that night. It's a nice break.

Yesterday, I had the twins. And they were both congested, feverish, tired, and cranky ALL DAY LONG. It was a rough day. When Hus came home, he realized how difficult my day was and said, "Go lock yourself in the bedroom and do whatever you want. I got this." It was the sweetest thing that I'd heard all day. And the bonus was that it gave a topic to blog about and the time to actually write the post.

Raising kids is hard. It tests you and your relationship. Pay attention to cues from your spouse. If you sense that your mate is overly tired, stressed out, or angered as a result of being around your little rug rats, give 'em a break. Take over and let your partner calm down or just relax. You both will be better parents because of it.


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