when your husband loves two women: the pros and cons of marrying a mama's boy

I married a Mama's Boy. There, I said it. Hus is a Mama's Boy, definitely not as much as he was when I first met him, but a Mama's Boy nonetheless. Unfortunately, I think that many mama-loving-men get a bad rap. And while I agree with many of the anti-Mama's-Boy arguments at times, for the most part, the pros tend to outweigh the cons. So, let's get down to business. Below is my list of the main pros and cons (that I and other people I know have experienced) when marrying a Mama's Boy.

PRO: Mama's Boys are respectful towards women. This is a bit of a no-brainer. When a young boy grows up very close to his mother, he tends to value her as a person, which makes him respect her. When young boys respect their mothers, they generally will also respect other women. Hus respects all women; especially me.

CON: A Mama's Boy may put his Mama before his wife from time to time. Since they have such a strong relationship with their mothers, Mama's Boys may have a tough time detaching from their mothers when they attach to their new spouse. Well, let's be serious, a lot of this responsibility falls on the Mamas, too. A Mama of a Mama's Boy may make it very difficult for a new woman to come into her son's life. When you're dating, there isn't much you can do about this. But, once you're married, your husband (not you) must put his foot down with his mother (if this is a problem) so that he can focus his time and energy on strengthening your marriage. The two of you have become a team (you can read more about this idea in my book) and he needs to realize that his mother is no longer part of his immediate team (she should still be part of his life, but just not as much as she was pre-marriage).

PRO: Mama's Boys are polite and considerate. Hus is one of the most polite men I have ever met. When we first started dating, I was completely shocked by his politeness (he would open doors for me, pull my chair out at dinner, always say his pleases and thank yous, etc.). This is definitely a skill taught by mothers to their sons. And interestingly, even now, Hus cares more about our twins being polite than I do.

CON: Mama's Boys may allow their Mamas to get involved in your marriage. This is a big one. Unless your Mama's Boy is willing to tell his Mama to butt out, she will likely be involved in your business as much as she wants to be. You see, Mamas of Mama's Boys tend to want the best for them so badly that they are willing to insert their opinions about everything having to do with your newly created shared life. You know the phrase, "Mother knows best"? Well, that was created by Mamas of Mama's Boys to justify their desire to tell them what to do (Just kidding! I have no idea where that phrase came from).

PRO: Mama's Boys tend to be more in-tune with their emotions and understand the importance of sharing them with their spouse. This is also a BIG one. I can't tell you how many times I talk to women who desperately wish that their husbands would talk to them more often or at least just be more open about about their feelings. In my experience, Mama's Boys are rather comfortable expressing their points of view, inner thoughts, and emotions. I don't know about you, but in my opinion, this pro kind of trumps the cons.

In the end, Mama's Boys can be difficult to be with at times, but their respectful, polite, comfortable demeanors can make it all worth it.

2 comments:

Janus said...

This is exactly the insight I was looking for and the answer I was hoping for. Wish all the best for you and your husband!

Anonymous said...

NOBODY can read your page....

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