great expectations: how being realistic is key to your relationship's success

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its
ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing
that it is stupid." ~Albert Einstein

As I've said time and time again, relationships are tough. There are so many factors that go into creating a good relationship and it can easily become overwhelming if and when one or both partners don't put in the effort needed to keep their relationship afloat. One of these said factors is being realistic. It is vital that you and your partner are realistic about who each other are and what you each are capable of and willing to do.

For instance, I am fully aware that Hus is not going to start planning all of our date nights. It's just not who he is. Sure, he'll plan a date night here and there, but all of them? Nope, that's what I do; I'm the planner. And while many of my friends get agitated when their husbands don't plan their date nights, it doesn't bother me. Because I know that I shouldn't judge Hus by his ability or willingness to plan a date; nor should I get upset about it. It's just not who he is and I don't want him to feel inferior because he doesn't like or want to plan a date.

When I hear people complaining about their spouses or singles complaining about the type of people who are available to them, I wonder if they're really being realistic. And when I think about the complaints they're making, in the grand scheme of things, many of these complaints are, well, trivial to say the least.

Nobody is perfect. I'm not, you aren't, and neither is anyone else for that matter. We all have our faults. We all have things about us that can (and do) make other people angry, offended, and/or annoyed. But, at the same time, we also all have virtuous characteristics that make others gravitate towards us. Let's try to remember those positive things and be realistic about all of those things that piss us off.

The bottom line: if you raise the expectations you have for your spouse to a place that is unattainable, not only will you be disappointed, but your spouse will feel stupid for not being able to reach those goals.

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