"don't talk to me like that": 3 ways disrespect damages your relationship

Demeaning, criticizing, emasculating and cursing. Unfortunately, many of us have engaged in one of these activities with a spouse at one point or another. Contrary to popular belief (yes, that was a little sarcasm), these actions are completely inappropriate, terribly unacceptable, and extremely damaging to
a relationship's success.

I'm always amazed by the amount of people who seem to understand the gravity of the impact that this kind of language has on other human beings, yet continue to use these destructive communication strategies in heated (and even not-so-heated) interactions with their partners. For example, I know a couple where both parties consistently tell one another to "fuck off" when in an argument. Now I'm surely not the swear-word police (many have said that I curse like a sailor), but I have NEVER EVER said "fuck you" to Hus or told him to go fuck himself or anything remotely like that. I would never stoop to that level of disrespect with him. And he has never said anything that disrespectful to me. That kind of language is just not part of our relationship's vocabulary. Cursing around your partner is completely different from cursing at your partner. I just don't get how you can talk to your mate that way and get away with it. I don't know about you, but if Hus told me to go fuck myself every time we got into a disagreement, we would have a major problem (a problem that would likely be a deal-breaker in our marriage).

Using hurtful words with your spouse is not the only way to disrespect. Criticizing (most of us don't even realize we're doing it!), name-calling, interacting with members of the opposite sex in a way that you would not if your partner was present, using negative humor, threatening your partner or the status of your relationship, flirting with other people, giving ultimatums, belittling your partner's ideas/thoughts/beliefs, talking negatively about your partner behind his or her back, and bossing your partner around are more sure-fire ways to engage in disrespect. If you want your relationship or marriage to succeed, these negative behaviors need to be completely eliminated from your spousal interactions.

Still don't think these things are that big of a deal? Below are three consequences of disrespectful communication.

It can create the dreaded parent-child relationship.
Disrespect, especially emasculation and criticism, can easily cause one partner to take on the role of parent, leaving the other partner to become the child. Sadly, the media normalizes the parent-child relationship as typical in American marriages, with bossy, bitchy women controlling their dumb, child-like husbands. The media’s influence coupled with the pressure of traditional gender roles passed down from generation to generation causes many women to become mothers to their husbands and husbands to simply become an additional child for their wives to raise. Many of you are in this situation right now. And some of you are perfectly happy with taking charge and being the “single parent.” But I would venture to say that there are more of you who are not fine with the current status quo.  It’s okay. You can turn things around. Begin looking at your partner like the adult that he is. You didn’t marry him because he was a cute little kid who you wanted to take care of for the rest of your life. You married him (most likely) because he was a man who you fell in love with. And as a man, he needs to be treated like one. This means that you cannot do everything for him. Let go of the control. This also means that you cannot criticize the way that he does things. Shut your mouth. This also means that you cannot tell him what to do. He is a grown-ass man. He can figure out his own life. This also means that he needs to pull his own weight. Talk about household chores, child-raising duties, and errands. Divvy them up in a way that makes both of you happy. The bottom line: stop being your husband’s mother. You and I both know that you’re sick of it.

It can make your partner hate him or herself.
Research shows that criticism from a trusted and/or loved other breads self-hate in the target of the criticism. Whenever I think about this, it makes me terribly sad. For a human being to have that much control over how another human being sees him or herself is so upsetting to me. But many of us have no idea when we're engaging in criticism. There's a clear distinction between positive and negative communication here. For instance, complaining about a specific action your partner has done (“I can’t believe you didn’t do the dishes yesterday!”) is not criticism. Instead, criticism leaves the realm of the specific and attacks a person’s character (“You never to the dishes!”). Saying something like, “You never do the dishes” has several implications. It’s most likely not true that your partner NEVER does this dishes. But by you saying that, you partner might infer that you think he or she is lazy, good-for-nothing, or even worthless. When you use terms like “always” or “never” to describe a person’s behavior, it’s criticism. Eliminating these words from your vocabulary is one of the best ways to avoid being critical, learn to effectively complain, and steer clear of breeding self-hate in the person you love. 

It can end your relationship.
While some of you out there will put up with disrespect for one reason or another, most of us (including me!) will not. And let me add that nobody should have to put up with it. There isn’t a person out there who is worth it. The end.

Overall, it is vital that no matter how agitated, angry, or pissed off you get, you avoid disrespecting your spouse at all costs. This is what mature love is about. And always remember that your partner has feelings (we all do). Speak to him or her as if you are being considerate of them.

Still interested in this topic? See some of my other posts HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.

18 comments:

Bruce Kelly said...

Excellent post Jen. This subject is actually one of my hot buttons. I have never been able to understand how someone could show courtesy to strangers and casual acquaintances then go home and be vile to the one person they're supposed to love with all their heart.
It also goes beyond husband and wife. I've seen the damage that criticism and disrepct does to the self-esteem of children, especially young girls. It can lead to young women with low self-esteem and self respect who don't believe themselves worthy of being treated with respect. It becomes a never ending circle.
I have three daughters and have always tried my best to demonstrate respect by example through my relationship with their mother. Great blog, thanks.

Dating Advice said...

Thanks Jen, i came to know how to respect the relationship and how to maintain a relationship. I hope many of them disrespect damages their relationship.

Pauline Davidmash said...

I have been in bondage ever since my ex left for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i loved him so much, Things got worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great Prophet www.prophetofgoddess.com and i contacted him through spells@prophetofgoddess.com and immediately everything turn around and Paul came to me in the next three days on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a reaction in my life. I am so thankful to this man

Anonymous said...

my ex Brad and I broke up. I felt lost, confused and devastated and all I knew is I had to have Brad back. A piece of me was missing without him. After doing some research I found out about drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com“: The ONLY Way to Get Him Back & Create the Life Together You KNOW is Meant to be!. and I’m pleased to tell you IT WORKED!! Today, Brad and I are back together and we are more happy than ever. Our life together is everything I ever dreamed about as we are now engaged to be married in Las Vegas next year. I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like if I didn’t get Brad back. Recover My Lover was worth every penny and I highly recommend it to anyone out there looking to get an ex back in their life.” email;drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

Adams Bella said...

My name is Adams Bella, i live and work in Oxfordshire, UK. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Trust of Ultimate spell cast which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Vera, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever.Dr.Trust you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com) or call him +2348156885231. he is the best caster that can help you with your problems.

Adams Bella said...

My name is Adams Bella, i live and work in Oxfordshire, UK. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Trust of Ultimate spell cast which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Vera, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever.Dr.Trust you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com) or call him +2348156885231. he is the best caster that can help you with your problems.

mullar sharron said...

Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

Anonymous said...

Am here to testify of a great spell caster who is very straight forward with his way of casting spells. When my husband left me for another woman i was so confused,but one a day a friend of mine gave me the email address of this great spell caster called dr zizi, I contacted this man and explained to him all that i was going through,he then told me to be calm and not worry anymore because my case is a very easy one. At first i never believe all that he was saying until when my husband returned home two days later begging me to forgive him all that he has done to me and to please accept him back into my life,I was so amazed,I never believe it was going to happen that fast.
This man is truly great indeed. Contact him today for a perfect solution to your love problem,drzizitemple@gmail.com and +2348101814609

SARAH WILFRED
USA

Anonymous said...

Am here to testify of a great spell caster who is very straight forward with his way of casting spells. When my husband left me for another woman i was so confused,but one a day a friend of mine gave me the email address of this great spell caster called dr zizi, I contacted this man and explained to him all that i was going through,he then told me to be calm and not worry anymore because my case is a very easy one. At first i never believe all that he was saying until when my husband returned home two days later begging me to forgive him all that he has done to me and to please accept him back into my life,I was so amazed,I never believe it was going to happen that fast.
This man is truly great indeed. Contact him today for a perfect solution to your love problem,drzizitemple@gmail.com and +2348101814609

SARAH WILFRED
USA

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morgan keri said...

My name is morgan keri.i want to give thanks to dr.trust for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with dr.trust. He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with ourself. dr.trust make him to realise how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counselling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+234186885231)

Anonymous said...

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Miss Joyce said...

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PEACE said...


BE VERY CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX BACK,THEY ARE SCAMS AND ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTERS HERE MUST BE IGNORED. THEY ARE SCAMS I MEAN REAL SCAMS WHICH I WAS A VICTIM MY NAME IS PEACE I AM FORM USA I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY EX AFTER HE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2YEARS. I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM SOUTH AFRICA AND NIGERIA UNTIL I SAW THIS WRITE UP ONLINE ABOUT DR OTATA I DOUBTED IT SO MUCH BUT ON THE OTHER HAND MY OTHER MIND TOLD ME TO GIVE THIS LAST GUY A CHANCE AND SO I DECIDED TO MAIL HIM. HE SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 2 DAYS BUT THE COST OF THE MATERIALS IS JUST $250 AS I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAS WORKED FOR ME. AFTER THAT NIGHT I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR, WELL I SAID LET ME GIVE HIM A TRY SO I MAILED HIM AGAIN AND SENT MY DETAILS AND THAT OF MY EX AND THE $250 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS HE TOLD ME TO WAIT FOR TWO DAYS AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THOSE NIGHTS BECAUSE I REALLY MISSED MY EX AND WANTED HIM BACK BY ALL MEANS. AT 9PM EXACTLY THE SECOND DAY I SAW GREG ONLINE ON FACEBOOK AND HE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE HE NEVER TALKED WITH ME FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND HE ASKED IF WE CAN SEE THE NEXT DAY AND I SAID YES AND HE WENT OFFLINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT WITH HIM AGAIN BUT HE WAS NO MORE ONLINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY, BY 7.AM THE NEXT MORNING HE SENT ME A MESSAGE ASKING MY WHERE ABOUT AND I TOLD HIM. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THAT EXACTLY 8.AM HE WAS ABLE TO LOCATE ME, HE WENT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND STARTED PLEADING THAT I SHOULD TAKE HIM BACK AND HAS PROMISED TO LOVE ME FOR ETERNITY AND THAT ALSO HE IS NOT GONNA EVER HURT OR CHEAT ON ME. NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN AND I HAVE PROMISED DR OTATA THAT I WILL TELL THE WORLD ABOUT HIM. I STILL MAIL AND THANK HIM AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT GREG PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAMMED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER THEN CONTACT DR OTATA NOW THROUGH HIS EMAIL. osobaspelltemple@gmail.com AND HE CAN HELP YOU WITH THE FOLLOWING PROBLEM
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
MAIL HIM NOW AND SEE THE POWER OF A REALLY SPELL CASTER osobaspelltemple@gmail.com HE IS A REALLY AND POWERFUL SPELL CASTER I WILL KEEP ON GIVING YOU THANKS BABA GOOD LUCK GOD WILL BLESS YOU FOR HELPING ME BABA THANK YOU SO MUCH

Micheal Smith said...


My name is Micheal Smith, and I base in USA...My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr osoba, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr osoba 's e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr osoba , is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High osobaspelltemple@gmail.com anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: osobaspelltemple@gmail.com

joan nie said...



I want to use this medium to tell the world about Doctor Jatto who helped me in getting my lover back with his powerful spell, my ex and i where having misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg her several times to please forgive and accept me back because i know i offended her but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell but on i faithful day as i was browsing i came arose a testimony of a woman whose problem was more than mine and yet Doctor Jatto helped her with his spell so i was happy and also contacted Doctor Jatto for help via email and then told him my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe you tear with my spell so lucky for me everything want well just as he promised and right now i have got my fiance back and we are both living happily. there is nothing Doctor Jatto can not do with is spell and just as promise my self i will keep testifying on the internet of how Doctor Jatto helped me.Are your problem greater that mine or less i give you 100% guarantee that Doctor Jatto will put an end to it with his powerful spell, contact Doctor Jatto for help Via email drjattosplltemple@gmail.com

1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.
2. WINNING LOTTERIES.
3. CHILD BEARING.
4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE.
5. GETTING OF JOB.
6. JOB PROMOTION.
7. MONEY SPELL.
8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION.
9. HERBAL CARE.
10. BEAUTY SPELL.

Becky said...

My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr. OKORO LOVE SPELL and after I explained my problem, In just 3 days my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier more than ever before Dr. OKORO you are the best spell caster. I really appreciate the love spell you cast for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work. Thank you once again Dr. OKORO. You can also contact Dr. OKORO via email address: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com CONTACT HIM TODAY VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.

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Anonymous said...





LAURENT BARES

i live in HONG KONG I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called d.rrives has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex LOVER to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called CHARLES CARROLL we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 3 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email(d.rrivershebalisthome@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast. and bring my lost LOVER back, and after a month I miss my monthly period and i go for a test and the result stated am pregnant. am happy today am a mother of a baby twins, thank you once again the great d.rrives for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email;d.rrivershebalisthome@gmail.com

HERE ARE THE PROBLEMS HE CAN SOLVE FOR YOU SO I AM HELPING THIS GREAT MAN TO SHARE IT TO THE WORD

If you want your ex back.
if you always have bad dreams.

You want to be promoted in your office.
You want women/men to run after you.
If you want a child.
You want to be rich.
You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
YOU SEEKING FOR A GOOD JOB
YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOUSE OWNER
YOU LOOKING FOR A FIRST CLASS GRADE
YOU WANT TO COME OUT FIRST IN YOUR EXAMS
YOU A STAR AND YOU WANT TO BE SO POPULAR TO THE WHOLE WORLD
YOU HAVE A COMPANY OF ANY KIND AND YOU WANT IT TO EXPAND
YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE TO KEEP TO YOUR WORLD
YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND
YOU EXPERIENCING MISCARRIAGES ANY TIME YOU TAKE IN
YOU WANT TO COMPETE IN ANY LOTTERY GAME
YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER
YOU EXPERIENCING FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN ANY THING YOU DO
YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY THING YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON
HAVE YOU BEEN THREATENED BY SOMEONE
IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER BEHAVING STRANGELYDO YOU WANT TO CAST A STRONG LOVE SPELL ON YOUR GIRL OR BOY FRIEND


Or you have been scammed and you want to recover your lost money contact hiAnne mariam now (d.rrivershebalisthome@gmail.com) My Name is LAURENT BARES From HONG KONG

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